Danger!!! (HLD 202)

10 Oct 2020

I saw a warning label on a tap this morning – it warned that water from the hot tap could be hot. Obviously this was a kind caring notice guarding against someone diligently washing their hands in hot water in this coronavirus world we live in, and not being aware that the hot water from that particular tap is, well, hot.

But it brought to mind all the other really bizarre warning signs we sometimes see that, to the logically minded (ie normal) person, would be an unnecessary warning.

So for your enjoyment and education, I present the following warnings 🙂

Warning: do not read this list while unconscious.

Wheelbarrow: not intended for highway use. (Good to know – I was intending to transport a load of manure on the freeway, so I’ll have to find another road now!)

Baby stroller: remove child before folding. (Sometimes you really don’t want to have to wake the kid up though!)

iPod shuffle: do not eat iPod shuffle (I mean – they were quite small….)

Carpenters electric drill: This product not intended for use as a dental drill. (Even with a really small drill bit????)

Takeaway coffee cup: avoid pouring on crotch area. (Other places ok.)

Dog medication: May cause drowsiness – use care when operating a car. (Maybe let the cat drive instead).

Dishwasher: Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher. (Maybe just the washing machine then???)

Rat poison: Warning – has been known to cause cancer in lab mice.

Sleeping pill: May cause drowsiness.

Hair dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

Carton of eggs: Caution – may contain eggs (Certainly hope so!)

Superman costume: Warning this costume does not enable flight or super strength. (That would be the Iron Man costume.)

Iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But you know how you’re sometimes running late?)

Scooter: This product moves when used.

Menstruation pain relief medication: Ask a doctor before use if you have problems urinating due to enlarged prostate.

Dry cleaner plastic bag: Warning! do not swallow!

Child’s shirt: Remove child before washing. (Unless you use the dishwasher, maybe?)

Batteries: Do not use batteries as toothpaste.

Utility knife: Blades are sharp.

Star Wars lightsaber: Not to be used as a battle device.

Child car seats: This seat is to be used inside the vehicle. (Kids are noisey – surely the trailer is a better option!)

Chain saw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (Or???????)

Obviously a lot of these sort of signs are there following a litigation concern, but….

Really?????

Got any more warnings for me? Just in case I’m about to hold my chainsaw by the wrong end, or something similar????

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