22 Feb 2020

The blog I WAS going to write today just got derailed by my mother.

In amongst her telling me how vague, and away with the fairies she is, she comes up with “You know, I’ve always wanted to tell someone that ‘Innuendo’ means ‘suppository’.

While I think she may have mentioned this to me before, I’m still amazed at the capacity of a woman who is getting more forgetful each day, to come up with what she knows is a very good joke. And to time it to perfection.

Of course, I had to immediately go to my research tool and look for those words I’d seen lists of, where people assign new meanings to words – that make perfect sense. The only one I remembered was Artery, being the study of paintings.

But there’s more! Soooo much more 🙂

So to help my Mum out with some more jokes, I’m adding these for her.

Transcendental – above the teeth.

Inkwell – an accomplished tattooist.

Stalemate – a leading cause of divorce.

Acre – someone that aches.

Carnation – a country where each citizen owns an automobile.

Colander – someone who arrives with you on the same plane.

Maritime – The hour of a wedding.

Nitrate – the price after sundown.

Syntax – tariff on immorality.

Octopus – a cat with eight legs.

Thesaurus – a dinosaur that studies words.

Bacteria – back door of the cafeteria

Benign – what you be after you be eight.

Morbid – a higher offer.

Rectum – nearly killed him.

Balderdash – a rapidly receding hairline.

Coffee – the person upon whom one coughs.

Flabbergasted – appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

Oxymoron – someone who is a dumb as an ox.

I hope that little list has kept you as amused as it did me 🙂