Essential services (HLD 24)

15 April 2020

Ok folks we need to get real here. Who’s prepared to front up to the government for me, to expand the list of what they are classifying as essential services?????

I had to thread my overlocker today. I decided I would use the down time, and the fact that the sewing table now lives in the family room and keeps staring at me, to make a few more shopping bags – using the massive box of fabric I have accumulated over the past few years, expressly for the purpose of making reusable shopping bags.

Now….the overlocker.

Like yesterday’s rant about people who are exercisey type people (and to be specific I should have stated I don’t include walkers in this category – I’m a walker and I consider it to be more beneficial to my mental rather than my physical health – I was referring basically to people who sweat – a lot) I would like to take aim today at sewers.

That is sewers, as in people who sew. Not sewers as in the end location of all those panic bought toilet rolls.

Now, and again this is purely my opinion and shouldn’t be handed to Donald Trump as irrefutable evidence, I believe there are two different sorts of sewers. And, like the exercisey type people, there are sewers who are very very serious about it. And then there are sewers like me who can knock together a fabric shopping bag quite comfortably, fix hems and gaping holes where necessary, but who won’t touch zips because quite frankly, it’s just not worth the effort.

I bought an overlocker because I was knocking together a pile of shopping bags for the church fete, and I figured it would make life much easier.

It did.

But I must add a caveat to this – the overlocker arrived already threaded.

But, in my oh so diligent reading of the instructions at the time (pause now for a polite snigger), I did note the rather clear instructions on the threading of the machine. There were colour coded diagrams, there was a printed instruction sheet, and possibly a dvd of instructions.

It all looked so obvious that the dvd and instruction sheet got put away somewhere never to be seen again, and I merrily made heaps of shopping bags. (Pause for applause and “oh you are such a nice human being” comments.)

Fast forward a couple of years…. The machine had somehow become unthreaded. I had a brief look for the instruction sheet in the room that in the past two years has been a craft room, a bedroom, back to craft room, back to a temporary bedroom while the master of the house (again a brief pause here for a snigger) was socially isolated in another part of the house, and more recently the room has returned to a craft room/office/storage room for stuff we don’t know where to put.

There’s a lot of stuff in there, ok? I looked, I moved a few things, I didn’t find anything useful. I decided that I didn’t need the instructions – I have the coloured coded picture on the machine and I’m a level headed educated and sensible woman (why are you pausing to snigger????)

It took me close to two hours, a reasonable amount of inappropriate language, a lot of googling and YouTubing, and multiple attempts before I can now announce that the machine is now threaded.

It would have taken one of those serious sewers maybe five minutes…..

Why aren’t these people classified as an essential service? And where do I find them? Surely it’s a golden opportunity for a stay at home or retired mum, to put their details on an easily googlable website, advertising their ability to thread an overlocker in five minutes and that they are prepared to do so???

That’s an essential service I’d pay good money for. And when I say good money, I mean the equivalent of cost of how many coffees I could drink in the time it would have taken me to thread the damn thing myself.

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