30 June 2020

A century in cricket is celebrated by removing the helmet, raising the bat, and acknowledging the crowd (if there is one), your team mates, and the sponsors. Mainly for the media though.

A century in golf is acknowledged by slinking away as quietly as possible, and making up an alibi that said you weren’t on the golf course at all that day. You were panic buying toilet rolls, you were watching soap operas, you were graffitiing a statue of Napoleon – ANYTHING but playing golf.

A century in birthdays is of course acknowledged with cards from very important people, and maybe also from the Queen and people in politics too. And a request to maybe not have 100 candles on the cake. Heat stroke affects the elderly too. I do wonder how the Duke of Edinburgh will celebrate his 100th next year, if he makes it. Obviously a card from his wife will be a bit ho hum after all these years…

But a hundred bits of Heather’s brain falling into the Facebook feed… how to acknowledge that?

Well obviously…. I create an index.

Because after writing for 100 days a stream of literary diarrhoea with no forethought, planning or organisation involved…. there’s a very good chance of quite a bit of repetition.

And because I was a little bemused by the amount of topics we have covered, I thought you might be too. Some of the things we’ve touched on include: hand writing, fish tanks, toilet rolls, passion fruit, jigsaws, baby sharks, death, power cords, menu planning, pelvic floor exercises, gratitude, time, Costco, reunions, family trees, building blocks, cheap kettles, overlockers, squirrels, dad jokes, unprecedented stuff, retractable dog leads, hoarding, JASON, constipation, cathedrals, utes, flukes, friends, coffee, smiles, fairies, crumpets, car accidents and poo.

Poo featured twice, now I think of it 🙂 That is probably significant if you want to dwell on it.

What does it all mean, though? That I have too much time on my hands? You have too much time on your hands? We all spend a bit too much time on Facebook?

Or does it mean that over the past 100 days we’ve all travelled a bit of a journey together in how we look at and react to the world around us at the moment. That nowadays we all need a bit more social interaction than we thought? That perseverance is a lesson we thought we knew about, but we are learning more about every day?

Stay safe, my friends. Raise your bats to the world to acknowledge you’ve lasted through one hundred days of diarrhoea.

Told you those toilet rolls would come in handy.