7 Nov 2020

Yeh yeh – we’ve all got bucket lists. Whether committed to in writing or just a mental wish list, we all have things we’d like to do before we kick the proverbial bucket.

I’ve got some travel ones – Northern (or Southern!) Lights, Taj Mahal, Machu Picchu, Landwasser Viaduct, Gotthard Pass, Cook Islands, Russia, etc etc etc. I’ve got other bucket list stuff too, but that’s not what today’s bit of diarrhoea is about.

This is about two things: Reverse Bucket Lists, and Anti-Bucket Lists!

A reverse bucket list item is something you had wanted to do or achieve, that you now have, and can tick off your list. Swim with whale sharks? Snorkel the Great Barrier Reef (don’t bother – go to Exmouth instead and do Ningaloo…)? Visit the Great Wall of China? Become a grandparent? Skydive? Hot air ballooning? Successfully complete an income tax return, all by yourself? Learn to correctly load a dishwasher (you know who you are….)? Grow a really good looking moustache? (A lot of us have to wait for menopause for this one).

I have a lot of travel stuff on my reverse bucket list – Swiss Alps, Scotland, Ireland, London. Doesn’t mean I never want to go back to those places, but I’m comfortable having been here at least once.

Have you got some Reverse bucket list things to share? Something recent?

And now onto the Anti-bucket list. This is the list of things you would be very happy to NOT do between now and the bucket kicking time. Things such as:

Getting arrested (whether you interpret this to be a “don’t be bad” wish, or a “don’t get caught” wish, is entirely up to you. I pass no judgment. Much.)

Getting piercings in strange places (and by strange I am not referring to venue, but where on the body these piercings are put. You know what I mean).

Buy cheap shoes – I have flat feet. It’s really not worth my while to wear shoes with no arch support. Really really really not worth it. My plantar fascia and I have an understanding.

Buy cheap coffee. I’ll be happy to be the batty little old lady in the nursing home, jealously guarding her coffee machine from the other batty old people who’d give their last marble for a decent coffee. Be warned.

Have a bad relationship with your relatives – unless they are trying to steal your good coffee or shoes or wine, you really should be able to get along with them. Maybe to be safe you should not spend too much time with the relatives who wear the same shoe size as you. Just in case.

Go skydiving/bungy jumping – if you want to, please feel free. I’m happy to come take photos, which will be a big hit at your funeral.

Ignore your health – please get all the recommended health checks, and get any lumps, bumps or random unusual pains checked out. You are not wasting your doctors time. If they act like you’re wasting their time, get a different doctor.

Wait to have the perfect house before you have people come and visit. Anyone visiting me knows that they will have the dog inspect them and their ear lobes very closely, and there is always a risk that the toilet won’t be freshly waxed – or whatever cleaning is meant to be done to the toilet. There will, however, be good coffee. And wine. The chocolate will remain hidden, unless I really like you.

Do work best done to someone qualified – whether it is plumbing, electrical work or dentistry – leave it to the professionals.

Ok – hit me! Any more thoughts about anti-bucket list items? I have time to sit around reading them, I promise! It’s not like I’ve got house-cleaning to do 🙂