21 April 2021

About a year ago, I decided to start keeping a list of things I’ve ordered online. It had got to the stage where I would receive a delivery and the order had been made soooo long ago, it had almost slipped my mind. Don’t get me wrong – it’s always nice to get something in the mail that you weren’t expecting and had possibly forgotten all about, but it’s nice also, to know how ***ing long that order took to arrive.

It’s been an interesting insight into how clicky my online shopping finger gets. Whether it’s dog food, wine, bras, dog poo bags, personalised Christmas decorations, toys for my grandson, sewing supplies, dog treats, wine, gifts, dog treats, shoes or children’s clothes – I’m a good online shopper. I expect, in decades to come, to be the batty old lady in the nursing home frantically clicking buttons expecting this to mean I get presents in the mail.

Fortunately my lengthy list extended across about 16 months, so I didn’t feel too bad. And I think making this list was a good practise to get into. There was one instance where bras I’d ordered hadn’t shown for too long, and I followed up on it only to find the company had gone bust. Pun intended. I was able to source a refund through the banking network, which I promptly spent on something else.

But yesterday, comfortable in the knowledge that there were only two items outstanding on my online shopping list, and neither expected to be delivered for a week or two yet, I was quite surprised to see a delivery left by my front door.

It was a case of wine.

I did start to wonder whether I’d started doing online shopping in my sleep. It wasn’t from a company I’d ordered from before, but that doesn’t mean I hadn’t done it. Was I going to have to set up one of the security cameras (that I’d ordered online) to monitor my nighttime phone activity? Put a block on any ordering done between the hours of 10pm and 6am??? Had I really managed to forget that I’d ordered something as significant as twelve bottles of wine????

Obviously I dragged the box inside as quick as possible, before the neighbours got to chatting about the frequency of my wine deliveries.

It was only when I got my reading glasses out to have a good look at the label, I realised that the delivery wasn’t for me.

The address was right, just not my name.

There’s always that little thought that goes through your mind when you get letters and deliveries that come to the correct address, but to the wrong person. Firstly there’s the thought about “Do I know who this is?”, “How do I make contact with the company who sent it to tell them they’ve got the wrong address?”, and of course “How the heck am I going to be able to get through twelve bottles of wine before someone comes chasing this?”

I went to my regular research tool – the internet – and found someone of that name living in my suburb, sent a message, and got a very prompt reply from a lady who was very worried that some stranger would be drinking their wine as fast as they could before detection happened. She was so grateful that I hadn’t drunk any that she left me a bottle as a reward.

I’m very grateful that my clicky ordering fingers go to sleep when the rest of me does.

Now to try out this unexpected bottle of wine 🙂

What’s the most obscure thing you’ve ordered online? Or that you forgot you ordered online?