2 May 2021

Before I begin, please understand that the word ‘coffee’ in today’s episode refers to whatever your drink of choice is. If you’re a tea drinker, it’s tea. If it’s a long black, then that’s what it means. If your drinking choice is an almond milk dirty chai latte with gluten and dairy free sprinkles, then I won’t discriminate against you either. Much. This time.

Early on in the pandemic world, we were told we were not allowed to use keep cups for takeaway coffee. It went against the grain for us, and we were torn between saving the environment one coffee cup at a time, and supporting our local retailers through coronavirus by buying takeaway coffee from them.

Supporting the local businesses won.

Because…..well…..coffee.

It did begin to focus my attention on the design on these coffee cups, however. Depending on how many local retailers you were supporting, you collected a variety of cups that were either bright and colourful, subdued and monotone to disguise the effect that cup is having on the environment, or inspirational.

There were ones with animals on them and ones with tropical flowers to make your brain think of holidays you won’t be taking any time soon.

A couple of weeks ago my daily takeaway coffee came in a cup that reminded me that “We’re all in this together”. I’m assuming it referred to the pandemic, but it could refer to coffee addiction. Who knows?

Today’s offering was a bit more wordy – “This is a reminder to reconnect. To become more conscious of the world we live in. Smell the fresh air. Take off your shoes and feel the earth. Appreciate the the world around you – as you are part of it”.

It was nice, but quite frankly that much writing meant I had to get out the reading glasses, to work out what my coffee what trying to tell me today.

I prefer the messages from my coffee to be succinct. And in a large enough font that I can enjoy the message – and the coffee – without bringing out the magnifying glass.

I found some more inspirational quotes on coffee cups (some of them real reusable ones, that don’t kill off the environment with every sip). Things like:

“Do more of what makes you happy”. (I obviously understood this to mean drink more coffee)

“Today is a good day to smile”.

“Live a good story”.

“Coffee is like a hug in a mug”.

“Have a cup. Face the world. Make it better.”

I mean – that’s all very nice and inspirational. But the reality is that after we have drink our coffee, we don’t need a message to make us feel better. The coffee does that all by itself.

I prefer these ones:

The difference between your opinion and coffee is that I asked for coffee.

Maybe whiskey

A yawn a silent scream for coffee.

Probably wine

I want to KI** you. Options may vary.

I’m sorry for what I said before I had my coffee.

Coffee is my daytime wine.

Instant human. Just add coffee.

Relax. We’re all crazy. It’s not a competition.

Life begins after coffee.

You call it addiction. I call it love.

The reality of my life is that it’s the inside of the cup, rather than the outside, that means most of me. A good coffee will override the container it arrives in.

Actually the message that coffee should give you is – beware the third cup of coffee. It’ll probably give you diarrhoea.