8 April 2020

As the dog and I sat out in the oasis of the back patio this morning, enjoying the sound of birds singing, the smell of the pot plants enjoying the benefits of a reticulation shower, and the taste and subliminal joy that is the morning cup of coffee, the children who live in the house behind us commenced their music practise.

Now you may have seen video footage on the news of Italians singing opera across balconies, and I heard recently of someone advocating for music being one of the ways to get you through the isolation business. Heady, uplifting, inspirational stuff.

The kids next door – learning to play a flute and a violin, are playing, nonstop, that baby shark song. If you haven’t heard it please don’t google it – you will never get it out of your head.

Those inspirational music videos on the news never seem to show neighbourhood kids practising their recorders across the back fences as a way of highlighting musical togetherness, do they? They show Andrew Lloyd Webber sitting at his piano playing a selections of favourites from musicals, not Johnny tone-deaf-but-thinks-he’s-a-musical-genius serenading the world with his out of tune guitar.

Is now the time to learn a musical instrument? Maybe I could suggest we all work on our pelvic floor exercises instead? Quietly? (10, 10, 3 for pelvic floor exercises, people – 10 sec contraction, 10 sharp contractions, then raise your pelvic floor mentally up three levels then slowly back down. Three times a day for six weeks then once a day for the rest of your life. Thank you to the Gusset Grippers show I saw at the recent Fringe Festival!)

Ok now that I have saved you all from prolapses later in life – no thanks needed, just send toilet rolls – let me resume my diatribe about learning a musical instrument and sharing this joy with your neighbours.

I have decided that they are correct, and that music will be the thing we as a community can share, until we can get back to sharing our lives the way we are more commonly used to.

Pardon me while I drag my new drum kit out to the back patio.

Now what’s the baby shark rhythm?