One-eyed (HLD 194)

2 Oct 2020

I have often been accused of being very one-eyed about football. Strangely enough, the people who have made this claim also seem to suffer the same condition, but for a different football team.

But it’s probably not an unwarranted claim. If one of my teams is playing, my vision is usually focussed on them as opposed to whatever random opposition players are doing. Unless what they’re doing is infringing my poor innocent players who never do anything wrong, of course 😇.

For most of past 24 hours, I’ve had a patch over one eye following a small operation. (Obviously it was small – it was on my eye. A butt operation is bigger!)

Anyhoo – I learned a bit about being one eyed that I’m sure you’re gasping for me to share with you.

Firstly – you have a very restricted field of vision. I had to take care going down steps or through doors. I didn’t bump into anything but I was very conscious of not being a firm judge of where the edge of something was.

Secondly – if you wanted to see something beyond your visual range…. you have to look around!!!! I know – shock, horror, what an unusual concept! My neck got more action in the past 24 hours because it had to move my head so that I could see something with the eye that worked.

Thirdly – the one eye that was doing all the work, is a lazy little bugger, and kept thinking that if the other eye could have the day off, why couldn’t it as well? (This could possibly have something to do with the quite strong pain medication I got sent home with, that encourages sleepy bye-byes).

How do I relate this to areas in which I’m accused of being one eyed? And do I want to, more to the point….

Football is a very big industry. There are a lot of teams and a lot of players, and like a lot of sports throughout the world there is a lot of information that goes with the sport. Do I really need to have a broader range of vision when it comes to footy? Would that not just turn me into a sports nut job, who knows a lot about lots of teams? Kind of like my husband, but the female version?

If I wanted to know stuff about other teams, sure I could move my head and field of vision around a bit. But quite frankly there are enough other one eyed sports followers around who will tell you all that they know about their own teams, that I really don’t have to bother too much.

Regarding football, I think I’ll stay one eyed. I’m ok with that, and it definitely gives you a connection with people with the same one-eyedness.

Regarding the actual eye, though – the other thing I discovered is that there is a very real place in my life for a monocle! Perching reading glasses on top of a plastic eye patch is tricky. It made me very jealous of Captain Klink from the old Hogans Heroes tv show!

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